QuestionThis week in Dear Abby she addressed a writer's concerns about her husband's sexual insecurity due to a "very tiny male organ". Read my response.
This writer saved herself for marriage and claimed no problem with her husband's penis size. The problem was that he thought she should have an affair so she wouldn't feel cheated. This was not something that she was willing to do. Abby believed that her husband was testing her. She also told the writer that his insecurity had gotten the best of him. She recommended that he talk with his physician and also get a referral for a specialist to "get over his irrational insecurity" and go without him if he refuses. I agree with Abby that this is a problem of insecurity. It's the age old question of whether size really matters. To this woman it does not. It also speaks to the heart of sexuality. It assumes that the only way to get sexual satisfaction is through intercourse. This is just not so. What does it matter how you achieve orgasm? For 80% of women they must have their clitoris stimulated in order to achieve orgasm. This will not be done by the penis. There's a myriad of ways to stimulate the clitoris-oral sex, toys, fingers. There are lotions and creams that will even draw blood to it so that the sensitivity is increased. Even the G-spot responds better to manual stimulation. There are only so many positions a man can assume to stimulate the G-spot to bring a woman to orgasm. Even the guys don't need intercourse to achieve orgasm. For them there's oral sex and manual stimulation either by him or his partner. So getting beyond the orgasm factor, the only barrier is his own insecurity. Abby is right-he needs to seek help. As long as there is nothing physically preventing him from getting and maintaining an erection and he can ejaculate, then the specialist he needs to see is a sex therapist. A sex therapist will help him to deal with the deep seated issues that lead to that insecurity as well as provide training on technique. As willing and loving as his wife sounds, she can only do so much for him. It is his problem. I only hope that for the sake of their marriage that he will seek the help that's recommended. Have a question you'd like to ask? Something you really, really want to know? Fill out the form and send it in.
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